The Most Lonely Time of the Year
by TheBestEver222
Summary: He may have hated the way that Near surpassed him in everything he did. He may have hated the way that Near never responded to his taunts and kicks, and always seemed to remain completely emotionless. He may have hated the fact that Near would most likely be L's successor, but no one, not even his archenemy and biggest rival, deserved to be alone on Christmas. NxM FRIENDSHIP ONLY!
1. Chapter One

**_Hey peeps! So this is my first Death Note fanfic, so I hope I do okay! I'm going to try and keep both Mello and Near as in character as I can, so hopefully all goes well. Also, I would just like to tell everyone that I have only ever watched the anime. I've never seen the movie or the manga or anything else that has to do with Death Note, so if there are somethings in here that don't line up with the things mentioned in those, I'm sorry. Whatever wasn't mentioned in the tv series I have created with my own imagination. All of this story will be published on the same day, so you don't have to worry about waiting for ages. So, without further ado, chapter one of "It's the Most Lonely Time of the Year!"_**

 ** _Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note, nor any of its characters._**

It was that time of the year again. Winter. And winter could mean only one thing. Christmas was coming. The date had slowly crept up on him, and before he knew it, it was only a couple of days away.

Christmas was Near's least favorite holiday. In fact, he _hated_ it. It only stood to remind him of things he would much rather forget.

Obviously Near had emotions, he was just very successful when it came to locking them up and not letting them influence his thinking. Though, when it came to Christmas, it was the only day of the year that he really lost control of his emotions. All he felt was remorse, an incredible guilt and sorrow for the tragedy that he had caused.

Swirling images of dancing flames and plumes of smoke flashed in his mind as he laid, half asleep, on his bed.

He could smell the smoke in the air, feel the heat of the fire on his face. It was so realistic that, for a second, he thought he was actually in a burning building.

But he found that, when he awoke, he was in no such place. It was only his imagination. Or rather, his memory.

He sat straight up in bed, forehead covered in a thin sheen of sweat, in his room, which he shared with no one but himself.

In the past, he had found it odd how everyone else had a roommate or two, and he himself was left with no one. Often times it didn't bother him, he didn't usually talk much anyway, but now he found himself wishing he had someone to share the room with, if only so he didn't feel completely alone.

Near pulled his knees to his chest, desperately trying to fight back the emotions which he normally hid so well. Tears were welling in his eyes without his permission and he wanted nothing more than to go back to the emotionless state he spent the majority of the year in. He was not going to cry, he _wasn't_. Then why was it so hard to get rid of the lump in his throat?

A quick glance out the window told Near that it was daytime. He should get up and leave the room, but he desperately wanted to stay. Why wouldn't this stupid pain in his chest just go away?

After a few minutes of composing himself, Near placed his feet on the ground and walked towards the door. He would have to get up at some point or someone would be sent to wake him, and he didn't really need that right now.

None of the other children would notice his absence of course. None of them liked him much anyway. Well, when it was put like that, it sounded kind of sad, but it wasn't like that. Near didn't really mind, honestly. He was perfectly fine with sitting alone. Though, having a friend or two wouldn't hurt, would it?

He pondered this as he exited his room and walked down the hall, only to come face to face with a rather enraged Mello. Startled by Mello's sudden appearance, Near was not even able to utter a simple "hello" before Mello began speaking.

"Well if it isn't Near," the fourteen-year-old sneered with his usual bitter attitude.

"Hello, Mello," Near greeted, his voice as emotionless as it typically was, even though he felt anything but his typical self.

"The tests results came back today, and you know what they said?" Mello asked.

Near already had a feeling as to what the outcome had been, but he humored Mello anyway, "What was the outcome of the test scores, Mello?"

"Seems you did better than me, _again_ ," Mello seethed, "Always have to be number one, don't you Near?"

Mello reached out and shoved the smaller boy, who fell to the ground. He said nothing as Mello kicked him in the side. In fact, the physical pain did wonders in the way of making him forget the constant aching in his chest, if only for a few moments. Usually he didn't like Mello beating on him all the time, but now it seemed better than facing his emotions. He knew it probably wasn't the best idea, but if he provoked Mello then…

"I suppose some people are just meant to surpass others," Near said as Mello was leaving. It worked. Mello turned.

"What?" He said angrily.

"I said 'I suppose some people are just meant to surpass others.' Did you hear it that time?" Near was determined to get rid of the aching in his chest, even if it meant he would have to limp for a while afterwards.

"That's it you little-"

"Mello!" Someone called from down the hall, "Come on! You promised you'd come with me!"

"Coming!" Mello yelled.

No! This was supposed to be his chance to get rid of the pain! Why didn't Mello just ignore whoever it was and _hit him already_?

"I guess I'll always be smarter than you," Near blurted out in an attempt to further provoke Mello. He just needed to forget about his parents and Christmas for a little while, and if physical pain was the only way to go about that, then so be it.

"If I didn't have to go right now you would _so_ be dead," Mello threatened before walking away swiftly to the source of the calling.

No! No no no! Did some higher being have it out for him or something? Did they want him to suffer?

Near just entered his room once again and curled up in his bed. He decided that if someone wanted him up that badly, they'd just have to deal with his absence for today. He just wanted to sleep off this whole day. Too bad sleep only brought back the memories.


	2. Chapter Two

**_Hello again! Glad to see that you have decided to read the second chapter of "The Most Lonely Time of the Year"! I hope you enjoy this chapter! Feel free to leave a review, not to mention follow and favorite!_**

 ** _Disclaimer: I own nothing because I am not amazing enough to have created Near and Mello._**

 _Flames. That was all he could see. Flames that reached toward the stars and blocked out the night sky._

 _Smoke. That was all he could smell. Smoke that swirled in spirals and clogged up his lungs._

 _Heat. That was all he could feel. Heat that was burning his skin until excruciating pain consumed his very being._

 _Ash. That was all he could taste. Ash that stuck to his lips and tongue and refused to let go._

 _Screams. That was all he could hear. Screams that came from his mother and father as they burned not two rooms away._

 _And somehow, within the midst of all this chaos, someone had pulled him away from the flames and the smoke and the heat and the ash and the screams and had taken him to safety. He was the only one that they pulled out alive._

Near awoke with a start, sweat making his snowy locks cling to his pale face.

Why was it that, around this time of year, that memory was always there, in the back of his mind? Even when it wasn't at the forefront of his thoughts, it was there, waiting on the very edge of his consciousness for him to fall asleep just so it could haunt his nightmares.

Near wiped away the sweat that stuck to his face with the back of his sleeve. The Sun shined outside the window, proving that it was indeed daytime, and judging by the Sun's position, it was around three o'clock in the afternoon. Why had no one come to wake him up?

He received his answer upon exiting his room and stepping into the hall. Every available surface was covered in Christmas decorations and there was tinsel and fake snowflakes hanging from the ceiling and walls. As the Sun began to set in the late afternoon sky, bathing the silvery strands of tinsel and the tips of the metallic snowflakes in a golden-orange light, it almost seemed that, for a moment, the ornaments as well as the walls around them were set ablaze.

Near blinked, rubbed his eyes, blinked again. The flames were gone, replaced by shimmering sunlight on walls and the lustrous decorations that covered them.

Shaking the image from his head, Near continued on his journey to the main hall. Once he was in the room, his eyes were assaulted with even more colorful Christmas ornaments, if that were even possible. Seriously, who had they put in charge of decorating?

Near kept his eyes on his feet so as to keep the image of dancing flames on Christmas ornaments out of his mind. Unfortunately, looking down at one's feet makes it nearly impossible for one to keep oneself from running into people. It just so happened that the person Near had run into was Mello.

"Ugh, you," Mello said in disgust. Near continued to stare at his feet, not daring to look up lest he glimpse flickering flames. For a moment, he almost thought that Mello was going to hit him for what he had said yesterday, but the blonde did no such thing. Near should have known Mello wasn't one to just beat on one for the fun of it, though his short temper sure made it seem that way.

The only reason Mello ever hit anyone was because his anger always got the best of him, and because he was angry so often, it would probably seem to most people that Mello just beat people up for the fun of it.

Near knew that was not so, but in his depressed and hallucinatory state, he must have momentarily forgotten that one small detail. How unlike him.

It seemed that right now, however, Mello lacked his usual bad temper. Instead, he seemed in the mood to use his words rather than his fists. While he may never physically harm someone for his own amusement, another thing was to be said about his teasing. Near thought Mello probably didn't know the effect his words had on most other people. It was typical of human beings to forget that words could hurt just as badly as punches, if not worse.

"Why are you staring at your feet, huh? Interesting, are they?" Mello asked. "Where have you been all day anyway? Sleeping in? I guess having no friends to do anything with can really tire a guy out, huh?"

Near decided the best course of action to take would be to ignore Mello, though it was easier said than done. That comment about him having no friends hit him a little hard. Why didn't he have any friends? Did people think he was weird? Well, he was, but he had always chosen to believe it was somewhat charming. Maybe he had been wrong.

He pushed passed the taller boy, heading for the exited. He didn't need to hear his taunting. But Mello was reluctant to give up.

"Must be hard, having no friends or family to celebrate Christmas with."

Near hesitated slightly before continuing on his way out the door.

Near had never been so devoid of emotion before the accident, in fact, he had been the most cheerful child anyone had ever heard of when he was younger. It was only afterwards that he had shut off completely from the outside world. He didn't think he could ever be happy again, not with his parents gone. He had been right.

Exiting the main doors, Near approached an evergreen tree, sitting on the soft moss beneath it, his usual spot to go to when he needed to think or just calm down for a moment. The best part about the spot was that no one could see him when they exited the building, so he could remain hidden from the world for as long as he wished.

Maybe he would just hide there forever until he withered away. No one would care much anyway.


	3. Chapter Three

**_Hello children! Welcome back to "It's the Most Lonely Time of the Year"! This is chapter three, and I believe that there will be one more chapter after this one, if any at all. I hope that you all enjoy the rest of this story, and be sure to leave a comment on what you thought about this chapter!_**

 ** _Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN NEAR, NOR DO I OWN MELLO!_**

With his knees curled up to his chest and his head tucked between them, he sat quietly beneath the tree, trying to sort out his thoughts and emotions.

Tears were once again welling up in his eyes, but he refused to let even a single one fall. He _would not_ cry.

Near hadn't beeen aware of how much time had passed, but before he knew it, it was nearly dark. He probably should have gone inside, but he couldn't bring himself to stand up and walk back into that living nightmare.

Near had not been expecting the voice that startled him out of his brooding.

"Dude, what _are_ you doing?" the voice asked, causing Near to jolt slightly in surprise, "Are you crying? I didn't think you could feel emotion."

"I am not crying, Mello," Near objected, though you wouldn't have been able to tell from his monotone voice, staring up at the older boy who stood over him with a face completely devoid of any emotion what so ever.

"What do you want, Mello?" Near asked. He wanted nothing more than for Mello to just go away so that he would be able to mope in peace.

"Do you have any emotion, or are you always this boring?" Mello asked, ignoring Near's question. Maybe Mello was just here to make fun of him, "No wonder no one wats to hang out with you on Christmas. Your family probably never wanted to celebrate Christmas with you either, considering how emotionless you are. You must have brought them down an awful lot."

Near stood up so fast his head spun, but that did nothing to stop the anger that flared within him.

That had struck a nerve. Christmas already sucked for Near, but then Mello had to go and bring up his family so close to the horrid holiday? He hadn't minded his punches and kicks, but he hadn't been expecting his hurtful words. Near really just wanted to curl up in a corner and disappear for a little while, at least until Christmas was over.

Near's parents had loved celebrating Christmas with him, it had been the family's favorite time of the year. Emphasis on _had_.

"You know nothing of my family! Just shut up!" Near yelled, glaring at Mello so fiercely that the older boy flinched back slightly. But as soon as the anger came, it dissapated, leaving him with the feeling of immense sadness that, in all his thirteen years of living, he had never felt before. He just felt so hopeless, like a giant hole had opened up in the center of his chest and was stealing all of his laughs and smiles, draining him of all his happiness. It was so much worse than it was the other day, infintely worse. He thought that he would much rather die than continue feeling like this.

The feeling had come on so suddenly and so strongly that he was not prepared for the tears that appeared in his eyes, and before he even realized what was happening, his legs had given out and the tears were running down his cheeks. Sobs wracked his small frame, and he wanted nothing more than for the pain to just _go away_.

"Near? Near! Are you okay?" Mello's face entered his line of sight as he kneeled in front of Near, eyes wide and slightly startled. He supposed that Mello had right to be startled, seeing as Near was gasping for breath on the ground with tears leaking out of his eyes.

Mello sat him up, perhaps in an attempt to get Near to breath better. And Near, as emotionally unstable as he was, decided that the best course of action at that moment would be to latch onto Mello as though the fourteen-year-old were a life line.

Mello froze for a moment, clearly he had not expected the emotionless teenager to just hug him out of nowhere. Hesitantly, Mello hug him back, patting him awkwardly on the back in a vain attempt to comfort him.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry," Near repeated over and over again in a sort of chant. Maybe he was apologizing to his parents for accidently turning on the gas on the stove and never turning it off. Or maybe it was because he had burdened Mello with the task of consoling him whilst he had an emotional breakdown. But if Near had to guess, he probably would have said that he was apologizing for being alive when he had killed his own parents. Or maybe, it was all of the above.

Mello pulled away from the embrace and for a moment Near feared that he was going to leave him on his own. Near didn't think that he could handle being alone, not again. He feared that if he were left alone he would lose his mind.

But no, Mello had simple sat down beside him and made himself more comfortable before pulling the small boy into his side in a sort of hug. Near seemed to calm down, if only slightly, and the incessant chanting of "I'm sorry" had ceased.

"I'm sorry," Near said a final time, this time directed at Mello.

For a minute, Mello hadn't realized that the apology was meant for him, but when did, he said, "Don't be sorry, Near."

Near said nothing, just wiped a few tears from his face and placed is head on Mello's chest. He guessed that, after all of that, he could finally consider Mello a friend. His first, at least after the accident anyway.


	4. Chapter Four

**_Hello again! I'll just get right to it. Leave a comment about what you thought of the chapter and favorite! On with the chapter!_**

 ** _Disclaimer: I still don't own the characters, sadly._**

"Why were you so upset?" Mello asked, breaking the silence that had surrounded them.

"I-I don't like Christmas," was Near's only response.

"I could gathered that much from the way you acted inside, but why?"

Near paused for moment, steadying his already quaking voice.

"M-m-my parents, they, um, th-ey," his voice wavered and for a moment Near feared he might start crying again.

"They passed away on Christmas, didn't they?" Mello asked in an uncharacteristically soft voice. Near nodded.

"It was my fault. I killed them."

"I doubt that. You hardly seem like the type to kill people," Mello disagreed.

"But I did. I was messing around and I ran into the stove. I hadn't even realized it at the time, but I must have turned on the gas and my father lit a cigerette and the whole house caught on fire. I was in my room sleeping at the time, i-it was Christmas eve after all. My mother, she had been in the living room, setting up my presents, I assume." Near said, reliving the experiance in his memories, "I-I could hear my mother screaming as my father burned and as she herself caught fire trying to get to my room, to get to me. I was relitively unharmed, I was pulled out first. I tried to tell them to go help my parents first, they were in far more trouble than I was, but they just wouldn't listen. My father was dead almost as soon as he lit his lighter, but they could have saved my mother. If they had just _listened_!"

Near's breath hitched slightly on the last word. Why hadn't they just listened to him? He had only been small child at the time, merely eight years old, but they still could have _listened_.

"I wish it had been me instead," Near muttered bitterly into Mello's side. Mello yanked Near up so that they were face to face and looked at him seriously.

"Don't say that," Mello said sternly.

"But I do! In fact, I wish I was dead!" Near shouted.

"No, you don't," Mello said calmly. It was almost like their personalities had been reversed.

"You don't know what I want!" Near yelled.

"It's not always about what you want Near!" Mello finally dropped his calm demeanor. Near paused at that. What did he matter to Mello?

"Don't you think there are be people who would miss you?" Near just shrugged. He hadn't actually thought that anyone would miss him, but apparantly he had been wrong.

"I'm sorry," Near apoligized.

"Don't be sorry, just don't do anything stupid," Mello said, "We should probably head inside now, it's getting pretty dark."

Near glanced up at the sky and was somewhat surprised to see that the moon and stars were out. Near nodded in agreement before standing up, Mello following his actions.

As they walked together back towards the buillding, Near was sure to wipe away all traces of tears from his cheeks. Mello glanced over to him as he did this, saying, "You're such a drama queen."

"Yeah, well at least my temper is as long as an inchworm," Near shot back, his usual monotone back, but with a slightly cheery undertone to it.

"An inchworm? You suck at insults."

"Yeah, well you suck at everything else."

"Is that so?" Mello asked.

"Yeah. I've never met someone who sucks as much as you do," Near said.

Mello pushed him lightly, nothing like he had yesterday, "Who sucks now?"

"Still you."

"Shut up!" Mello shouted, shoving Near again before slinging an arm over his shoulders, and Near thought that he could live with Mello as his friend.


	5. Epilogue

**_So this story turned out longer than I had originally intended, but this is the last installment. I hope that you have all enjoyed and that you've all had a wonderful Christmas!_**

 ** _Disclaimer: Still not mine!_**

The next morning when Near awoke, he was almost convinced that the entire experiance had merely been a dream. It was only when he opened his bedroom door and found the shabbily wrapped gift addressed to him that sat just outside it did he realized that it had actually happened.

Reaching down and picking up the package, Near closed his bedroom door and made his way back to his bed. Placing the small box down, he sat next to it. For a moment he just stared at it, not really sure what to do. Deciding that it would be best to open it, Near began to unwrap the paper covering it. After removing the wrapping paper, Near found a letter taped to the top of the box that read,

 _'Dear Near,_

 _I found this in your file, and I thought that you might like. You'd better be thankful, I almost got caught getting it._

 _Merry Christmas,_

 _Mello'_

Near was curious as to what might have been in the box. There was a file on every child that arrived at the orphanage, and each was filled with classified information on each kid. But all of them were kept in a room that was off limits to all the children. The fact that Mello would even risk going in there could only mean that whatever he had found was important.

Taking the lid off of the box, Near tossed aside the tissue paper and had a peeked at what was inside. He gasped.

He picked up the photograph, examining it carefully. It was a photograph of him and his parents, not long before the accident. He was situated between his parents, his mother to his left and his father to his right. All three of them were smiling happily. He could vaguely remember the picture being taken, and the memory of it was a happy one.

Near wiped a tear from his cheek as he stared at the picture, his family had been so happy. It made him smile to think of those times, the ones when he could remember how much of a family they had been.

Near was happy that Mello had gotten this for him, even though it was a big risk. Mello really wasn't that bad. He'd have to thank him later. He was glad that Mello was his friend now. He wasn't sure what he would have done without him. He might not have even been alive.


End file.
